I faked an abortion last night.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
