the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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