i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
