She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
