I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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