The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
