There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
