we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
