Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
