yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
