You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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