dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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