my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
