Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize