She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
His nipple licking is glorious
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