I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
