I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
