found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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