Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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