yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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