so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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