this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
