Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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