i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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