Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
even my farts smell like vagina
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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