I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
