Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
