He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
