You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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