Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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