but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
