Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
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