did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize