His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
