She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
