i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
