this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
