the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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