You're so nebulous sometimes
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
