My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
