you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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