I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
