She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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