I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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