you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
