You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
