you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
