when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize