I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I got inside last night via doggy door
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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