If i come over, it means nothing
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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