Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
