Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i will never coherently bang her
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
