Who did Billy Mays play for?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
