i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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