I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
