I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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