Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
