soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
