Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
