this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
